WHAT TO EXPECT

THINGS YOU CAN EXCEPT:

Mom/family, you can expect this to be this biggest and most emotional battle of your life and for this reason you must have a support system, and the more knowledgable that support system is the better off you will be.
Keep your support system/friends streamlined, meaning just the few who are actually helpful.
If you go into a custody conference you're going to get a feel if there is bias on the mediator's part that might tip the scale in the father's favor. Trust you gut.
Don't put your eggs all in one basket. We expected law enforement and CPS to protect our angel so we waited, and waited. DON'T wait. Report your suspicion of abuse, let the police do their thing, and get a lawyer involved immediately - preferrably an abuse advocate.
Dont waste time with organizations that essentially can not help you. With the arrival of internet convenience it brings with it the ability for anyone to set up shop as child advocacy, including us, that in the long run have nothing to offer. Some nationally recognized organizations are a source for raising awareness and to raise money for children's programs. Most of the programs are focused on children who are in the system. Many programs address substance abuse and delinquency. These organizations can not help you and you will exhausted your energy reaching out to them. Even the CAC in our case has nothing to offer our angel except a firm and repeated, "WE CAN'T HELP YOU!" In our darkest moments we were treated pretty rudely.
Shut off all the noise. It's seems helpful to have facebook friends agreeing that he's a total jerk and someone should take him out, but honestly that adds to the stress in a toxic climate.
If you find yourself in a county that holds a bias towards mothers and/or does not offer resources like we have, you will find that you will have to do everything on your own.
Telling the same story of abuse over and over will wear you down. So write up a short version highlighting key points to use when communicating with lawyers or someone who might actually be able to help, and then you can copy and paste. For example you can start out with I am looking for comprehensive and immediate legal or counseling help - then give a description of why you need help. If their response has nothing to offer [legit counsel or legal help] move on. This short version is helpful to get communication going when you settled on a lawyer he/she has something to refer to when asking questions.
Your exhaustion and trauma is going to cause you to filter everything coming in through negativity. Try to clear your mind and trust that people care for you and your child.
You and your support system [family or friends] have to set some personal boundaries. Give yourself a time frame in which you'll make those call, send those emails, and do internet searching then call it quits for the day.
You will, in short time, find yourself running in circles so be very specific about who you contact and the information you provide.

Saving Grace One Day At A Time